Some subs still seem to think it’s part of the ‘game’ to do things that provoke punishments… because they think they like being punished. These subs need a better Dom.
If you’re a sub who likes getting hit, your Dom will hit you. If you like being spanked, he’ll spank you. If you like being punished… he’s not successfully punished you.
Pain followed by tenderness, or intense sex, or reassurance can be extremely exciting, invigorating (and if you’re wired that way) pleasurable. Pain followed by abandonment, loneliness, isolation… nothing but the chaos in your own mind telling you all the things you’ve done wrong and how your risk losing everything you hold dear unless you learn to improve… Now, that’s punishment.
Actually, that’s abuse.
Withholding affection and intentionally fostering feelings of abandonment, isolation, loneliness, and uncertainty in your partner is textbook emotional abuse.
Ladies, beware these tactics. Dominant men do not do that.
Fuckstick losers do that.
and the sooner some subs understand that, and learn that they can say no…. and leave
I am a dedicated 24/7 sub… and yet that doesn’t mean I ever want to be punished with isolation or threatened that unless I shape myself to my Dom’s will I will lose everything I hold dear. What the hell? That isn’t submission, that’s fear.
Submission is willing. It is beautiful and freeing and it can shape a sub for the better if the shaping is done with his or her consent. And while a sub can be fearful during a scene it should be from the sheer intensity of emotion, not genuine fear of their Dom. A sub should ALWAYS know their Dom will comfort them after even the harshest punishment. ALWAYS.
But, doing something I hate because it’s demanded and I know dire consequences will befall me if I don’t do it? That isn’t submission. It’s doing something because I’m terrified of what will happen if I don’t. Abuse.
Plus, it’s totally valid for some subs to play a “game” of intentionally misbehaving just to get a punishment. I don’t do it too often, but it doesn’t make me less of a sub when I do.
I want kinky “bad girl” punishments for things that aren’t really a big deal in the scheme of things. Or I want punishments designed to keep me on track of something important, such as improving my fitness, which my master helps me with. I don’t want punishments designed to break me to his will, that leave me sobbing, scared, and alone. Ever.
Exactly. I couldn’t agree more!
Everyone who reblogs this will get the title of a book to read based on their bio/posts.
Everyone. I mean it.
THIS IS THE BEST POST
I HAVE EVER SEEN
they really do mean everyone
Yes, I know you do, little one
You can’t miss those important calls. Who knows what they might be?